| You have signed up on several large dating | | | | a good move. Make it real, non-threatening |
| sites and posted a great profile. So far, | | | | and impersonal. For instance, you are in a |
| you've had some nice responses, but these | | | | sandwich shop grabbing lunch and you are |
| haven't led to a meeting yet. Someone told | | | | standing in back of a very cute guy. "Excuse |
| you about a singles group at your church and | | | | me, have you ever tried the Italian sub |
| there is an organization in your city for | | | | here?" "It looks really good, but I hate it |
| singles who want to volunteer, and hopefully | | | | when they add too much oil." Safe, easy to |
| meet other like-minded people. You've lost | | | | answer and very open-ended. This allows the |
| count of all the parties, happy hours and | | | | other person to share their experience with |
| clubs you've been to, hoping to meet | | | | the shop (or lack of) and to add any comments |
| compatible singles. Whew! It's a lot of | | | | or ask a question of their own. If they do, |
| effort just to be in the right place at the | | | | respond back with something that offers them |
| right time with the right people.Or is it?In | | | | the chance to keep talking.* Become a great |
| towns and cities everywhere there are single | | | | conversationalist. Yes, anyone can master |
| people (like yourself) going about their | | | | this. It's about focusing on the other |
| daily lives. Schedules consist of long hours | | | | person, deeply listening and offering |
| at work and/ or school, commuting, | | | | interesting, upbeat thoughts and topics. With |
| appointments, errands, leisure time pursuits | | | | a stranger, keep it simple. After the first |
| activities and everything else that is part | | | | exchange, ask them easy questions about |
| of the fabric of one's existence. In the | | | | themselves. Not too personal or probing. "So, |
| course of a day, the average person | | | | if you come here a lot to eat, you must live |
| encounters many strangers on the street, | | | | work nearby." "I've been here a few times, |
| elevator, store, metro, etc. Have you ever | | | | but don't think I've seen you before." Or |
| really thought about the possibility that Mr | | | | offer something about yourself. "I'm a |
| Ms Right could be the person behind you in | | | | vegetarian and this is the best shop for |
| line or across the aisle on the metro? If | | | | meatless sandwiches that I have found." You |
| not, now is a good time to raise your | | | | get it - safe, pleasant ways to ask about |
| awareness and broaden your thinking on the | | | | them, share about you and keep the |
| subject of how and where you can meet | | | | conversation going. "On nice days like this I |
| compatible singles. Armed with some newly | | | | often eat in the park down the street- want |
| acquired skills, your next chance encounter | | | | to join me?"* Use common sense and take |
| could lead to a first date and more. The | | | | precautions with any strangers. He's very |
| following are areas to start building the | | | | cute, but so was Ted Bundy. Never give out |
| expertise that will help you to stand out and | | | | your home number, address or any personal |
| get the right kind of attention when an | | | | information to someone you have just met "on |
| attractive stranger comes into your sights.* | | | | the street." Most people completely |
| Always be prepared. You just never know, so | | | | understand and agree with this kind of |
| you need to make that extra effort before you | | | | caution and would not be offended if you |
| rush out of the house. Take a quick look in | | | | explained your need to only give a first |
| the mirror, comb your hair and change those | | | | name, work phone number or an email address. |
| (horrid) old sweats into a nice pair of | | | | If this first meeting leads to an offer to |
| jeans. How you feel about yourself will be | | | | get together again, accept by all means if it |
| projected onto those around you, and really - | | | | feels right. But plan to meet in a public |
| you do look like your mother in THOSE pants.* | | | | place until you have more information about |
| Raise your general awareness of what and who | | | | them. Once you have had a few meetings/dates, |
| is around you. Don't walk with you head down, | | | | you can exchange home phone numbers and more |
| avoiding any eye contact. Try smiling at | | | | personal information.* Close the deal. So, |
| people you pass on the street and offer a | | | | you two have been standing in line and |
| nice greeting or remark to the folks who wait | | | | talking while your sandwiches were being |
| on you when you shop, do your banking, pick | | | | made. You are very interested and don't want |
| up your clothes at the cleaners, etc. Take | | | | to just say good-bye. What can you do? You |
| special note of strangers who appear to be | | | | can reiterate that you eat here a few times a |
| single and to have characteristics you seek | | | | week and tell them that you hope to see them |
| and surreptitiously check to see if that cute | | | | on Wednesday at around noon. You can pick up |
| guy/girl is looking your way. If so, smile | | | | on something they might have shared such as |
| and say hello if it feels appropriate to do | | | | their participation on their workplace |
| so.* Watch your body language. Along with | | | | sponsored softball team. " My team will be |
| holding your head up, remember to keep those | | | | playing on the mall on Sunday at 4, when do |
| shoulders back and walk with a comfortable | | | | you guys play?" Perhaps we will play opposite |
| erectness. Have an "open" posture. Don't wrap | | | | each other and can talk after the game." Of |
| your arms around yourself as you stand or | | | | course, there's always the suggestion of |
| huddle in a corner when waiting/standing in a | | | | eating your sandwiches together at that park |
| line. The eyes say it all; so let yours say | | | | down the street...Joining singles clubs and |
| "friendly." Communicate to others that you | | | | groups, posting personal ads and/or doing |
| are approachable and let them see that you | | | | volunteer work are all great ways to try to |
| are interested- if you are. What you don't | | | | connect with compatible, available singles. |
| say speaks volumes.* Learn to be a good | | | | However, they are not the only way. Many |
| flirt. Along with body language and | | | | great loves started from chance meetings in |
| communicating interest with your eyes, you | | | | the couple's everyday world. So, get out |
| will probably need to smile and have a few | | | | there, really mingle and open your mind to |
| good lines available. Rule of thumb- only | | | | the possibility that when you go around the |
| approach someone who is reciprocating your | | | | next corner you will come fact to face with |
| interest through his or her non-verbal | | | | Mr/Ms Right. |
| language. Starting with a question is always | | | | |