| You have signed up on several large dating sites and | | | | impersonal. For instance, you are in a sandwich shop |
| posted a great profile. So far, you've had some nice | | | | grabbing lunch and you are standing in back of a very |
| responses, but these haven't led to a meeting yet. | | | | cute guy. "Excuse me, have you ever tried the Italian |
| Someone told you about a singles group at your | | | | sub here?" "It looks really good, but I hate it when they |
| church and there is an organization in your city for | | | | add too much oil." Safe, easy to answer and very |
| singles who want to volunteer, and hopefully meet | | | | open-ended. This allows the other person to share |
| other like-minded people. You've lost count of all the | | | | their experience with the shop (or lack of) and to add |
| parties, happy hours and clubs you've been to, hoping | | | | any comments or ask a question of their own. If they |
| to meet compatible singles. Whew! It's a lot of effort | | | | do, respond back with something that offers them the |
| just to be in the right place at the right time with the | | | | chance to keep talking.* Become a great |
| right people.Or is it?In towns and cities everywhere | | | | conversationalist. Yes, anyone can master this. It's |
| there are single people (like yourself) going about their | | | | about focusing on the other person, deeply listening |
| daily lives. Schedules consist of long hours at work and | | | | and offering interesting, upbeat thoughts and topics. |
| or school, commuting, appointments, errands, leisure | | | | With a stranger, keep it simple. After the first |
| time pursuits/activities and everything else that is part | | | | exchange, ask them easy questions about themselves. |
| of the fabric of one's existence. In the course of a day, | | | | Not too personal or probing. "So, if you come here a lot |
| the average person encounters many strangers on | | | | to eat, you must live/work nearby." "I've been here a |
| the street, elevator, store, metro, etc. Have you ever | | | | few times, but don't think I've seen you before." Or |
| really thought about the possibility that Mr/Ms Right | | | | offer something about yourself. "I'm a vegetarian and |
| could be the person behind you in line or across the | | | | this is the best shop for meatless sandwiches that I |
| aisle on the metro? If not, now is a good time to raise | | | | have found." You get it - safe, pleasant ways to ask |
| your awareness and broaden your thinking on the | | | | about them, share about you and keep the |
| subject of how and where you can meet compatible | | | | conversation going. "On nice days like this I often eat in |
| singles. Armed with some newly acquired skills, your | | | | the park down the street- want to join me?"* Use |
| next chance encounter could lead to a first date and | | | | common sense and take precautions with any |
| more. The following are areas to start building the | | | | strangers. He's very cute, but so was Ted Bundy. |
| expertise that will help you to stand out and get the | | | | Never give out your home number, address or any |
| right kind of attention when an attractive stranger | | | | personal information to someone you have just met |
| comes into your sights.* Always be prepared. You just | | | | "on the street." Most people completely understand |
| never know, so you need to make that extra effort | | | | and agree with this kind of caution and would not be |
| before you rush out of the house. Take a quick look in | | | | offended if you explained your need to only give a first |
| the mirror, comb your hair and change those (horrid) | | | | name, work phone number or an email address. If this |
| old sweats into a nice pair of jeans. How you feel | | | | first meeting leads to an offer to get together again, |
| about yourself will be projected onto those around you, | | | | accept by all means if it feels right. But plan to meet in |
| and really - you do look like your mother in THOSE | | | | a public place until you have more information about |
| pants.* Raise your general awareness of what and | | | | them. Once you have had a few meetings/dates, you |
| who is around you. Don't walk with you head down, | | | | can exchange home phone numbers and more |
| avoiding any eye contact. Try smiling at people you | | | | personal information.* Close the deal. So, you two |
| pass on the street and offer a nice greeting or remark | | | | have been standing in line and talking while your |
| to the folks who wait on you when you shop, do your | | | | sandwiches were being made. You are very |
| banking, pick up your clothes at the cleaners, etc. Take | | | | interested and don't want to just say good-bye. What |
| special note of strangers who appear to be single and | | | | can you do? You can reiterate that you eat here a |
| to have characteristics you seek and surreptitiously | | | | few times a week and tell them that you hope to see |
| check to see if that cute guy/girl is looking your way. If | | | | them on Wednesday at around noon. You can pick up |
| so, smile and say hello if it feels appropriate to do so.* | | | | on something they might have shared such as their |
| Watch your body language. Along with holding your | | | | participation on their workplace sponsored softball |
| head up, remember to keep those shoulders back and | | | | team. " My team will be playing on the mall on Sunday |
| walk with a comfortable erectness. Have an "open" | | | | at 4, when do you guys play?" Perhaps we will play |
| posture. Don't wrap your arms around yourself as you | | | | opposite each other and can talk after the game." Of |
| stand or huddle in a corner when waiting/standing in a | | | | course, there's always the suggestion of eating your |
| line. The eyes say it all; so let yours say "friendly." | | | | sandwiches together at that park down the |
| Communicate to others that you are approachable | | | | street...Joining singles clubs and groups, posting personal |
| and let them see that you are interested- if you are. | | | | ads and/or doing volunteer work are all great ways to |
| What you don't say speaks volumes.* Learn to be a | | | | try to connect with compatible, available singles. |
| good flirt. Along with body language and | | | | However, they are not the only way. Many great |
| communicating interest with your eyes, you will | | | | loves started from chance meetings in the couple's |
| probably need to smile and have a few good lines | | | | everyday world. So, get out there, really mingle and |
| available. Rule of thumb- only approach someone who | | | | open your mind to the possibility that when you go |
| is reciprocating your interest through his or her | | | | around the next corner you will come fact to face |
| non-verbal language. Starting with a question is always | | | | with Mr/Ms Right. |
| a good move. Make it real, non-threatening and | | | | |